I Told You So

I found myself reading and re-reading my post yesterday.  Yes, I kept telling myself, we are lucky and we should count our blessings.  We are lucky, I’m counting my blessings.  We are lucky.  Count your blessings.  Lucky.  Blessed.  Lucky.  Blessed.  Lucky….

My blog had somehow morphed into my mantra.

When I finally convinced myself to stop reading the post, the words kept scrolling through my head.  It was like staring at a teleprompter that was set on an infinite loop.  I tried shaking my head, I tried focusing on other things, I even tried hitting my head against the wall!  But, it was no use.  My brain was trying hard to convince me of my own thoughts.

My rational side believed whole-heartedly in the words that I had written down yesterday.  My brain knows how lucky I am and how blessed our family is, but occasionally my heart needs a little kick in the ass.  Is that normal?  It is my normal, that’s for sure.  My head has always been leaps and bounds ahead of my heart.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

My brain knows what a silly saying that is, but my heart collapses in a heavy sigh and whispers woe is me.  Silly heart.

Fortunately for me, my brain generally stays one step ahead of my heart and often helps tip the scales in favor of luck and blessings and happiness.  Yesterday, while my heart was whining “But I don’t wanna do it by myself,” my head was screaming “Stop your whining. You have absolutely nothing to complain about.”

As usual, my brain was right.  We had an absolutely beautiful Easter Sunday.  The food was good, the company was better and the laughs were plenty.  And, after a long ride home, I got to put my feet up on my husband’s lap and give him the recap.  He laughed so hard he cried and actually woke one of our sleeping beauties.

Before falling asleep, I swear I heard my brain murmur “I told you so.”